its the saddest thing when the one you love only wants to hurt you.
July 3, 2009 - Friday
I STILL LOVE U AND I WILL NEVER FORGET U
when i think about u and our past togeter, the good times we had shared in your car, i catch myself smiling. i whipe the smile off my face cause i know i shouldn't be thinking about you anymore and i should just forget about you. everytime i think about the first time we had kissed and how you licked your lips before your lips had met mine, my eyes fall shut so i can enjoy the memory more. the way your lips felt and tasted, so soft and so sweet. i open my eyes cause i know i shouldn't be fantisizing about you, but i can't forget about you and im always thinking of you. i can remeber the way you smelled and the way u touched me. i remeber the conversations we had soo well, almost as if we just spoke of them a second ago. somtimes i wish i could go back into the past and change the things i had said and make them better, the one thing i wish i could change the most is the lie i had told you. everytime i think about how you and i went wrong, i feel my throught start to swell up and my heart starts to beat slower and my vision starts to become blurry from my tears. i never wanted us to end. it's just so amazing how i fell so deeply in love with u so hard and so fast and then we broke up because of a stupid reason before we could've become anything so strong. im even crying as im typing this, but we all know that you are too good for my tears and its so surprising how i ever got so far with a guy like you.
everytime i see you with your girlfrnd i start to cry cause i remeber that was us and we could've been more, somthing stronger, and i think " his girlfrnd is soo lucky to date a guy like him"
and the day that you brung your girlfrnd to your job to rub her in my face..it killed me cause you did it on purpose so i'd get over you, you wanted me to get jelous, you mostly did it to hurt me.. i wonder how do u sleep, knowing that u had killed a part of me .
when the day comes that u decide to come back to me the one thing i have to say to you is " i still love you and i have a feeling i will always love you, but we just arent meant to be togeter..and when the day CAME that u realized that u missed me... i hope that u didn't forget that it was YOU who let me go"
you showed me how to love and not be loved back, you showed me how to feel dead on the inside, and somehow i would oddly thank you for that.
some people say that it's better to have loved and lost but i wish that i had never loved at all.
u changed me, i feel that i will never love another guy the same way that i had loved you.
you killed a part of me, and things will NEVER be the same!
i feel as if i'm the only one in this world heart broken the most. the worst part is i cant share my feelings with anyone, not my frnds, not my family..i must keep it all to myself..im tired of wearing this fake smile pretending everyting is always okay..even thou its not and even i know it...im tired of everyday hoping and praying that one day everything will get better and go back to normal but deep down inside i KNOW it will NEVER be the same.
IM TIRED OF PRETENDING. i will not hide it anymore!
it's the saddest thing when the guy i love to death wants me to forget about him and leave him alone, his only wish is... to hurt me
this blog is about my ex. i had created it around the time him and i broke up and i posted it on myspace. i decided to post it here too because i think it is one of the best blogs i had written because it came straight from the heart and also becuase it proves the point that love is made to destroy -GENESISBITCHH!!!
giiinnnnaaaa!!!!!!! omg ur blog is so nicee!! I was cryingg as i was readingg ittt!!! <3youuu ~alexx<3
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